Am I missing something here? I mean, okay, BMWs are Bavarian, those Oktoberfest beer maids in cartoons are also Bavarian, so perhaps it kind of makes sense that they'd both have something in common. But does that really explain why this M3's name is Helga? Or why this 340i is Greta to her friends? Or why this battered creature goes by BroomHilda? (Okay, I admit that last one is actually quite good, I'm going to let it go.)

I'm pretty sure not even German parents give their German daughters these names any more, by the way. Lisa? Okay. Hannah? Sure. Ingrid? Nuh-uh.

Don't think I'm hating on the whole idea of naming inanimate objects. That's fine. You want to establish some kind of personal connection with your car? Go for it. We all get it, you're proud of your ride.

But how would you feel if your parents decided to name you after a German peasant's wife? Is that being proud of you? Or is that setting you up for years of playground bullying for no good reason? Don't you realize all those Hondas with cool names like Haruko and Miyumi are going to make fun of the kid called Waltraud?